Serious question for the British

[chog]

I'm considering visiting Britain soon and given
my texas accent I'm a little concerned about
my safety. I'm going to try and blend in while
I'm in your country and I've come up with
some ideas, hopefully you can help me out.
1) No more smiling, have a permanent frown

1) No more fake smiles and rictus grins.

2) Say toodles to people I meet

2) "toodles"? "poodles"? ... er ... what?

3) Wear a metrosexual outfit with bright colors

3) Brightly coloured american tourists. Novel idea.

4) Never brush my teeth

4) Fair point.

5) Act as feminine as possible

5) Adult females, certainly. But not your children. The US desire for
prepubescent "beauty queens" is considered fairly perverse here.

6) When you see non-white people, please refrain from lynching them or
dragging them to their deaths behind a vehicle. Thank you.

7) Set volume control to a comfortable level, say 5?

8) Eat with mouth closed; learn to use a knife and fork AT THE SAME TIME.

9) No, King Arthur does not live in Buckingham Palace.

10) Yes, Jack the Ripper does currently live in Stone Henge.

[mike.hunt.hertz]

Maybe if you don't make a cunt of yourself you'll be fine!

buggerzion

Post by chog

I'm considering visiting Britain soon and given
my texas accent I'm a little concerned about
my safety. I'm going to try and blend in while
I'm in your country and I've come up with
some ideas, hopefully you can help me out.
1) No more smiling, have a permanent frown

1) No more fake smiles and rictus grins.

2) Say toodles to people I meet

2) "toodles"? "poodles"? ... er ... what?

3) Wear a metrosexual outfit with bright colors

3) Brightly coloured american tourists. Novel idea.

4) Never brush my teeth

4) Fair point.

5) Act as feminine as possible

5) Adult females, certainly. But not your children. The US desire for
prepubescent "beauty queens" is considered fairly perverse here.
6) When you see non-white people, please refrain from lynching them or
dragging them to their deaths behind a vehicle. Thank you.
7) Set volume control to a comfortable level, say 5?
8) Eat with mouth closed; learn to use a knife and fork AT THE SAME TIME.
9) No, King Arthur does not live in Buckingham Palace.
10) Yes, Jack the Ripper does currently live in Stone Henge.